There are times when I hate being gay. Not that being gay should matter.... but it does. I hate that when I look at colleges and universities that are private, the first thing I have to do is try to see if the environment is friendly towards "the gays". I hate it and it sucks. I hate that I don't know whether to be open about this in my interviews b/c while I don't want to be in a hostile environment, yet I don't want to be discriminated against due to a personal judgement when the institution is okay. I also don't want to just say "no private christian schools go on my list" b/c that is equally discriminating on my end and I refuse to do that. It's just really frustrating that this is even an issue. I'm a damn good scholar and instructor yet something that totally has no relevance, has influence. I'm frustrated and disillusioned. Thus, sometimes I hate being gay.