This morning the garage sale set up began at 6:30am... we were open by 9, and our garage sale kicked ass. We brought in between $800-$900 on or first day. :) Not bad...not bad. *grin*
Erica came at around 9:30. I knew she was coming... and knew it would be hard. As much as I know that the path our lives are on... is a good thing... it is still hard sometimes. Today we separated finances, permanently. We both know that certain things will take time to get out of our names and into one... actually... it's more of a factor that Erica will refinance the car to her name, and take on the windows loan. I will take on the debt we accrued together with mom. All in all, I think we both ended up with a good deal and we are both comfortable with the results. We wrote up an agreement and signed it. We also discussed the house and how we should approach any maintenance and repairs, or remodeling for the sake of resale. Basically, we both know we need to keep costs down, but we will split everything 50/50 in regards to the house. We stopped by mom's to copy the documents, and mom signed off the debt to me. Having mom, erica & I all in the same room was the hardest... I think we all started to break a little...
After getting back to the house, I stated that I thought we should open up the bottle of wine that she'd given to me for Christmas... She stated that I should wait for a special event... my eyes started to tear up... and I finally was able to say... "it is." It was so hard... being so distant from someone who was once so close. Because, though we huged, we couldn't comfort eachother... we both knew that we needed to maintain distance; create new barriers. So... we just toasted... neither one of us could talk... I finally just said... "to what words can't express". The wine was good... it's the wine that I'm drinking now... and yes, it's still good.
It's just hard... because I miss her. I don't want what we had. And I'm glad, as difficult as this path has been, that I am in the place I am at. That she is in the place where she is at.
But... I still miss her in my life. And I care about her. And I really want the best, for both of us.
But I also am glad... that we both are finally moving on. Even though it hurts. It is a good thing. And we both know it.