Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:42 pm
nirvelli_lynn: (Default)
A friend of mine was diagnosed with brain cancer several months ago. She was able to put off treatment until now... and she's been an amazing trouper for all of it... never letting it get to her and having strength I can only watch with pride. But today she had her first chemo treatment. It was rough. And it's so hard to see her in pain...even from a distance. 

Oddly enough, my mom found a clinic yesterday that has alternatives that can specifically address brain cancer among other things... Ironically... we've had experience with this treatment before... this treatment... saved my life...

I don't talk much...I don't like to talk much...about my history... because I know what it's like to face death...and to fight for your right to live... to have to find the strength to keep going... even when you're too tired to try. This treatment is what cured me... and I don't take it lightly. Immedately after my last treatment, my clinic was closed down and the doctor, who was from Russia, was exported; the treatment along with him... But this is what I owe... to my having a life... a good one even... Because technically... I should be sick. I should always be sick... constantly... and basically deteriorate slowly... due to illness.  But that is not my fate. And it was very hard... battle... but I made it. I still have lingering resin on occasion that I have to deal with... but it's no big deal really...

But I know what this is like... to have to fight... and I know the strength it takes... and how hard is...and thus... seeing a friend... in this space... is difficult. And I know that I will and can approach her soon to see if she's interested in alternatives. I know she will be... I'm just hoping .. I can help. Because for all my knowlege and connections... I just hate to see her suffer. And I have to try to at least open some doors of new options.

I would hate to loose her.


Aug. 8th, 2007 01:44 pm
nirvelli_lynn: (Default)
Yesterday I avoided going home again by going to Grand Rapids to kidnap Steve...actually, Mom was the primary person who insisted on the kidnapping... She requested that Steve come help today with the packing/separating of the house. I'm glad she asked... asking is hard, and I tend to not do it... We went to mom's and had a bottle of wine with Mom & Dadra. I finally crashed aroud 2am and litterally hit the pillow and zonked out. Not complaining. 

Today I got up and Mom & Steve came and got me and we ate at the 401 and then went to Meijers to get the WICKED soundtrack. :)  We also got a various artist gospel album and christian rock album... don't ask what got into me... I dunno. I think I just knew/know I need more upbeat and positive music right now... cause me and the depression... well, I'm trying to stave it off.  We went back to the house and got to work. We got the entire upstairs and main floor all set, and now just have the basement... it's actually a bit easier than I expected...but I know it's easier because they are there... If I was by myself... I couldn't do it. And I know that. 

As much I've been kinda reclusive, I need my Steve & Dadra... and others in my inner circle... They are my light when I don't have lantern when I get lost and simply can't see my way ahead.  I need to remember this more. They are the people who add to me... who complete me... and I need to realize I need more of them... especially right now...  


nirvelli_lynn: (Default)

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