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Thursday night mom & I took last minute trip up to Boyne Mountain to see Casey & Lindsay, plus Auleen flew in the day before and was willing to bring up Liona. That was awesome and a much needed reprieve. I considered staying home to hang out with Nicole on Friday... but... I also knew I need to go more "inside" that day. Erica was in VA. She knew she was going to be offered the job and we decided to talk about it Friday morning. When I awoke, I called her and said told her that I supported her decision. It was the right move both for us, and for her. Casey, Lindsay and I went skiing that morning. The ski conditions couldn't have been better! Wow. It was hard though, because Erica kept calling with updates... she was offered and took the job... she was looking, and found an ideal apartment... etc. It was very hard mentally "being" where I was. I knew the day was going to be like that... being pulled in both the direction of the people I was with and Erica.

Auleen and Liona arrived around 2pm. Liona... was exactly what I needed. There is something beautiful about life through a child's eyes. Liona and I played...a lot. Mom got her some paint and she made everyone pictures. Mine is a picture of her and I. I'm blue and she's red (for her hair). Mom also got her a clay activity that included a forest scene and a book to help create bugs. So we all (everyone except Auleen who went for a walk) made clay creatures. Liona asked me to help her and we created ladybugs, a caterpeller, a bettle and a worm (who was pink & black with bright orange hair!) It was awesome. We took a walk, had dinner, and eventually I put Liona to bed. We read a story with Pooh and she curled up next to me... it was beautiful. I've always had a connection with Liona and I wish I could see her more than a few times a year. Every time it a blessing in so many ways. I sang her a song called Never Alone (I made it up on the spot.) as it went with the story which was about people always being in your heart. She was really cute because we talked about it after. She said, "just like daddy's in my heart even though he's in France." (Lee is on a business trip to France for wine tasting/research. Talk about a business trip!) She's only 4 3/4 years old and she gets that people are with you always... in your heart. I think I needed that story as much as she did. It was really a beautiful evening... and it added so much to me.

Being around adults was more difficult because they needed more attention, emotionally, than I could give. But being around Liona created a simple-ness that was definitely needed that day. I know all is going to be good. But Friday was hard. And yet... it will also be in the top of memories of time with Liona. She is such a blessing my life. And makes me realize how much children add to create who we are.

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nirvelli_lynn

September 2012

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