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Mar. 27th, 2009 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nirvelli_lynnI'm starting to wonder if I did the right thing. I hurt Kate. I know I did. I know too that what I said was true. She is going to keep hurting those she loves as long as continues to ignore her issues. But such a potent truth is often hard to face. Few want to see...yet ths is not the first time I've forced someone to see what I see as truth. I wonder who do I think I am to force such a view onto someone else. Simply because I can see it doesnt mean they are ready for it. So do I hurt more than I help? Am I causing purposeless damage & pain to someone simply becuase I believe they need to see what I deem as truth.
While it is a rare occasion that this situation occures.... I wonder if perhaps I am wrong in this... could these actions been seen or perceived as vindictive. something I never thought I was...
Am I hurting people more in the end?
(update: I actually spoke to Larisa about this... she stated that for one thing, the truth is often hard to bear, and while it often hurts, if the person chooses to listen, it can actually help. In some cases, it can make a relationship stonger, in others, often the person chooses to run from the truth, the relationship may fail. Failure was also a brief discussion as we attempted to discuss my issue with making everything my fault. This particular topic will remain a focus, particularly because I was a bit too overwhelmed today. I also talked about my fear that I was being vindictive, she stated that if I was actually being vindictive or malicious, I would not have been sitting on her couch crying because I knew that hurt Kate. I would not feel pain at hurting someone if I was trying to hurt them. What I told her I said because I want her to be ok...and she has things she needs to figure out in order to be ok. Larisa stated, that based on that, I said what I did out of love. I wish it didn't have to hurt her. And maybe she'll never forgive me... but I hope that in end, she's ok. I truely have no mal-intent.)
While it is a rare occasion that this situation occures.... I wonder if perhaps I am wrong in this... could these actions been seen or perceived as vindictive. something I never thought I was...
Am I hurting people more in the end?
(update: I actually spoke to Larisa about this... she stated that for one thing, the truth is often hard to bear, and while it often hurts, if the person chooses to listen, it can actually help. In some cases, it can make a relationship stonger, in others, often the person chooses to run from the truth, the relationship may fail. Failure was also a brief discussion as we attempted to discuss my issue with making everything my fault. This particular topic will remain a focus, particularly because I was a bit too overwhelmed today. I also talked about my fear that I was being vindictive, she stated that if I was actually being vindictive or malicious, I would not have been sitting on her couch crying because I knew that hurt Kate. I would not feel pain at hurting someone if I was trying to hurt them. What I told her I said because I want her to be ok...and she has things she needs to figure out in order to be ok. Larisa stated, that based on that, I said what I did out of love. I wish it didn't have to hurt her. And maybe she'll never forgive me... but I hope that in end, she's ok. I truely have no mal-intent.)
