Things with Kate...

[nirvelli_lynn]

Things with Kate have ended once again. The pattern broke, then immediately restarted anew. This time however, I knew. And I talked to her. She allowed herself to see the pattern this time. She realized what she was doing and how it would end. I offered to leave in order to break the cycle. She agreed. So we are done. While a part of me feels this as a loss, another part of me saw this coming. I kept my eyes open and knew not to put all of myself into this until time had proven the pattern broken. Time proved otherwise. Kate will still be in my life and hopefully someday she will find it in herself to break her own pattern. And maybe then things can change between us. I leave the future open but will exist in the present. And in the present. We are done.

I have learned to protect myself better. I have learned how to hear my gut. And I have learned to listen. I have even found my own way...of letting go. My way is different perhaps than most. But it is my way. And I find it works for me.

I am ok. I am sad... yes. But I can finally move on. I am not opposed to a future that can change with Kate, but I am no longer waiting on her. I have my own life to live. I knew I had lessons yet to learn with her. I learned mine. Maybe someday in the future another lesson, a better one, can be found. But... for now... I move forward. Alone. And I'm finding that it's not a bad thing.

I've also finally accepted that I am a monogomous person and I want my relationships to be this. I'm done compromising. And I think this is a good thing.